Remembering God

The Bible study I am in has been so good. We are using a Beth Moore study called Believing God, and, packed with solid scripture, it is so useful in opening your heart and helping you know God more and more. It is hard to even put into words what I have experienced with and because of God over these past two months. I can't help but try to put it into words though because I desperately want this for you, too.

The part of the study on my heart this morning is about remembering God. Beth writes: "You have not gotten this far in your journey with God without His footprints planted all over your path and without His fingerprints all over the doorknobs to every new season. You have not arrived accidentally in your present place on the map of your Holy Land. You have had an amazing ride with God, whether or not you realize it." This is true for all of us.

God is always with us, and has been always with us, even when we haven't realized his presence (Isn't this amazing!?). Many of us have experienced great wrongs and sorrows in our past that we carry with us everyday. We don't necessarily think of them constantly, but they are the things that sting when something happens to remind us of them. Then they weigh us down and sadden us right down to our marrow, but they don't have to.

Through exercises in this study, it has been very healing for me to reframe my memories with God in the picture. He was there, and the events were part of a larger plan. Remembering this changes my heart from downcast to encouraged! In particular, as today is the second anniversary of Dad's passing on, I want to share with you the way I have reframed my memories about Dad that have caused me the most pain.

Dad's leaving and drug use: Dad was searching for God and finding him over and over again. This was his cycle of behavior just like I have one (Mine seems to go like this: ordinary life and going through the motions happily, disaster, call on God, God rescues me and I live abundantly, back to the beginning). When Dad died, he was at a peak of belief. He knew God, believed Him, and was prepared to live in heaven.

Not seeing Dad much at Christmas (2006): I don't think I've ever told this to anyone before, except God, but when we were home in December 2006 for Christmas and our wedding, I have been feeling like I really screwed up. I didn't get to see Dad as much as I wanted because we were so busy with wedding things. The day after our wedding, we opened wedding presents at Mike and Cindy's house. Dad didn't come because he wasn't feeling well. Later that day I came home for a little bit and I remember that when I came inside Dad and Tara (one of my bridesmaids) were talking and laughing in the living room. I was jealous. We were heading out for New Year's Eve though. I saw Dad for only a little while the next day before Matt and I drove back to Texas. I have been bitter about this because it was the last time I saw Dad. This still really hurts, but I can put a new frame on that picture. With God, I know Dad didn't mind that I wasn't there with him. Of course he would have liked me to be there, but it was the day after our wedding. He was happy for me. God was the only one in the room who knew it would be the last time we'd see each other.

Saying goodbye to Dad: Even though I didn't make it home in time to talk to Dad, we were able to say goodbye to each other on the phone. We both know the purity of unconditional love that was present then. It includes forgiveness. Saying (shouting really because it was hard for him to hear me), "I love you, Dad!" and him saying, "I love you, Brooke!" erased all the bad and brought forth all the good experiences together.

Dad's passing on: Dad lived life. The cancer took his body, but certainly not his heart, mind, or soul. Dad had endured enough of this world. God chose to bring him home, and he died in a way that would forever impact (for good) the lives of those who love him and knew him.

All this was for good. God began a good work in Dad and completed it. He also begins good works in me and you and will complete them.

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10

"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

"In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory." Ephesians 1:11-12

Praise be to God!